1: Introduction Can you think of an instance when someone deeply harmed you? This can be a friend who broke your trust, a loved one who disappointed you, or a co-worker who undercut your efforts. In these situations, forgiveness may appear to be an impossible task. Have you ever thought about the transformational power of forgiveness? In this blog post, you will learn about the powerful impact forgiveness can have on your live, as well as the great freedom and inner peace it provides. 2: What is Forgiveness Forgiveness is often seen as an act of weakness. However, this is a skill that only the strongest and most mature people possess. Forgiveness can liberate you from a constant anger towards a person and can cure relationships. As Buddha once said: “ Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned .”. You can better understand this quote with an example: Imagine your best friend broke your trust by t...
1: Introduction
2: Formal VS Informal Habits
Firstly, I must admit that I came up with the difference between formal VS informal habits. I invested this distinction from learning about meditation. In meditation, there is formal and informal meditation. Formal meditation is the meditation that everybody knows where you sit straight and focus on your breathing. Informal meditation on the other hand is the act of feeling connected with the present moment for most known as “being in the flow”.
Therefore, I also applied this to habits. Formal habits are the habits such as going for a run when you get, brushing your teeth after your dinner, going for a walk after your breakfast and so on. Informal habits on the other hand are the habits that don’t have a specific trigger like the habit of listening with the intention to understand instead of with the intention to react, saying hello to the store clerk and eating unhealthy when you get stressed. As you can see, formal habits have a specific trigger like something you do after you get up while informal habits are something you do when you meet someone.
3: The Creation of Formal Habits
It is crucial to know how habits are created before you can start applying them. I will not go about the psychology and evolution of habits but about the actual creation. If you do want to know about this, I recommend you read my blog post about “How to build habits” you can find back at the right of the page in the archive. There are 3 components that are crucial here: the trigger, the routine and the reward. The routine is simply the habit that you will do such as meditation. The trigger is what trigger is needed for you to perform the routine for example that you will meditate right after you get up. Lastly, there is the reward. This can take 2 forms: there is the reward from simply performing your routine such as peace of mind when you meditate but you can also give yourself a reward after performing the habit such as eating a chocolate bar after your meditation. The first form will according to my experience be sufficient when you perform the habit for a somewhat longer time because for example with meditation, you might not immediately feel peace of mind after your first few days of meditation. Therefore it can be a good idea to reward yourself (second form) if you are just starting with a habit.
4: The Creation of Informal Habits
As said, informal habits don’t have a specific trigger. However, you can remind yourself of the habit in a specific situation. For example, if you want to become better at listening, you might need to remind yourself when you go out with friends to first listen to what the other has to say before you do your story. With this habit specifically, you will often automatically think about what interesting you might have done to continue a conversation instead of asking what your friend has done that weekend.
5: Conclusion
In conclusion, habits play an important role in our everyday lives and can have an impact on our personal growth and development. Developing habits, both formal and informal, can be a difficult process, but understanding the components of habit formation can help. Remember that the trigger, routine, and reward are all necessary components in developing formal habits, and that in developing informal habits, you must remind yourself of the habit in certain situations. Creating positive habits takes time and work, but the rewards are well worth it in the long term. The most important thing I want you to remember is that with the creation of a formal habit, you will need to add a trigger and reward while with the creation of an informal habit, you will will need to remind yourself of it in a specific situation.
6: Your Next Steps
1. Formal Habit: Determine the trigger, routine, and reward for one formal habit you would like to develop or already have developed (example: trigger: getting up, routine: meditation, reward (form 2): chocolate bar). (60 seconds)
2. Informal Habit: Identify one informal habit you would like to develop and in which situation you would have to remind yourself of it (for example: situation: appointment with friends, routine: first listen before telling own story, reward (form 1): feel more connected). (2 minutes)
3. Stay Connected: Click the “about me” on the right side and hit the Pinterest button to don’t miss my further posts about personal development. It will only take 10 seconds of your time, but the benefits of staying informed and motivated are priceless. (10 seconds)
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