Strength in Openness: Embracing the Power of Vulnerability Part 2

 

1: Introduction

Have you ever found yourself struggling with vulnerability and wondering how to embrace it in your life? If so, you're not alone. In the second part of her book "The Power of Vulnerability," author and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown explores the key elements of vulnerability and how to cultivate it in our lives. In this blog post, we'll dive into some of the key takeaways from this section of the book and explore how we can harness the power of vulnerability in our own lives.

2: How to look at vulnerability

I will start this post with a metaphor from the book that perfectly describes what vulnerability is and how it leads to authencity. In life, you are put in a box. At first it is very spacious and you can do a lot without social disapproval. As you get older, that box gets tighter. You have 2 choices: You can use anaesthetics to numb the unbearable pain of the cramped box or you can break out of the box by being yourself and accept that sometimes you will face social disapproval.

3: Vulnerability and caring what others think

Vulnerability is for many people scary because of what others might think of things you share with others and by taking responsibility for your actions. I am going to give you a new perspective from the book on caring about what other people might think. “If you don’t care at all about what others think of you, you lose the ability to feel connected. If you care too much about what others think of you, you lose the willingness to show yourself vulnerable.” Think about this for a second. If you don’t care at all about what others think, you can’t feel connected with them because you will probably also not be interested in their lives. On the other side, if you care too much about what others think of you, you will not be able to show yourself vulnerable because you will be worried how it may influence how others think of you and you will stay quiet.

If you find yourself struggling to care too much about what others might think of you, it's worth keeping in mind that assertive individuals are generally more highly regarded than those who are excessively easy-going. This may initially seem counterintuitive, as easy-going individuals are more likely to follow others. However, people often have more respect for individuals who express their own ideas and opinions.

4: Shame VS Guild

You've probably heard phrases like "You're not good enough" or "You're not strong enough" before. These are shaming tactics that some managers, parents, and teachers may use to keep you feeling inadequate. However, this is almost never an appropriate approach. For instance, if you make a mess of your artwork, the correct phrase to use is "You made a mess of it," which assigns guilt for a specific action that can be improved upon. Conversely, saying "You are a messy person" suggests that you are inherently and unchangeably messy.

It's important to remember that if someone says you're not good enough, it means you have not performed well in a specific area, but you can always improve. When speaking to others, it's crucial to use guilt instead of shame, which can be damaging and unproductive.

5: Conclusion

The most important thing I want you to remember is that by embracing vulnerability and cultivating practices that help you stay open and authentic, you can live a fuller, richer life that is more connected to yourself and those around you. The second part of "The Power of Vulnerability" provides a roadmap for doing just that, exploring the key components of vulnerability and offering actionable advice for how to integrate vulnerability into our lives. Whether you're looking to deepen your relationships, strengthen your sense of self, or simply live with more authenticity, vulnerability is a powerful tool that can help you get there. So why not take the leap and see where vulnerability can take you?

6: Your Next Steps

1. Open up: Take a moment to identify an area in your life where you tend to feel closed off or guarded. This could be a specific relationship, a certain topic of conversation, or a behavior that you're uncomfortable with. Once you've identified this area, try to approach it with a spirit of openness and curiosity. Instead of shutting down or getting defensive, see if you can allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts and feelings with the other person. (3 minutes)

2. Self-compassion: Practice self-compassion by taking a moment to acknowledge and validate your emotions. If you're feeling upset or vulnerable, try to give yourself permission to feel those emotions without judgment or criticism. You might say to yourself, "It's okay to feel this way. I'm allowed to be vulnerable." This simple act of self-validation can help you cultivate a greater sense of self-acceptance and openness. (2 minutes)

3. Stay Connected: Click the “about me” on the right side and hit the Pinterest button to don’t miss my further posts about personal development. It will only take 10 seconds of your time, but the benefits of staying informed and motivated are priceless. (10 seconds)